sunday.

i wanted to draw a clear line between yesterday's joy and today's sorrow by separating both days into 2 separate posts. but i cant. i think i blurted out most of my feeling by the previous post oredi. But like i said, the exhibition of long lost frenship. "frenship???" still room to ponder.

did some "gathering" today at cong jing's place. and i realsied how much we have drifted. we cant click, and we share diff ideas of fun, joke, activities, and respecting other's decision. all was jus a piece of crap. i no longer value this frenship at all. wat used to be there clique i enjoyed, now is but a grp of strangers hanging too dearly to the happy times of the past. and is obviously struggling to find that joy once again. things change, they realli do. i always believed that time plays an important part in relationships, thus i realli value this other grp of 10-yr frens. (they're another story) But this grp of "clique", i realli can see its end long past beyond. and the revival is nothing but some self-imposed obligation to the past frenship. 5 yrs of frenship proved to be but a hollow shell, wif too many problems often under-rug-swept.

while i see time being proved to be NOT a factor in relationships, i can't help but rmb how time is often giving restrains to frenships. no matter how hard one tries, time still has to take its own step and nuttin u do could change the 4 or 5 years of extra steps others took before u even started on ur journey. Its an unfair advantage no doubt. but time WILL always set itself against me. i wish i had that 4 years. (well? i spent 2 yrs eating cocktail at the starting line. who could i blame)

anyway. it sucks not being invited. and somehow i want to let the person noe that it sucks. yet i despise myself for doing that. i can always ignore, at least my mind can, but my heart jus felt the pinch all the same.


"The only feeling of real loss Is when you love someone More than you love your self." ---good will hunting