tuesday. shine.

for the past few weeks i felt that life in school was getting mundane. everything seems to be repetitive and even the more exciting stuffs like inter school games and guys GREAT outting -which was really great- was anticipated. everything that was to serve as a change to routine has become part of a routine in itself. in such a way that there's a boring routine, and a fun routine that was supposed to break the routine, but nonetheless still a ROUTINE in itself. on the more microscopic view, or short run, wadeva u choose to call it, i was feeling great due to the fun events that were littered throughout my calendar. but on the bigger picture, i was feeling indifferent - towards BOTH the routine. and my blog started stagnating and tho i feel the need to type STUFFS, i really couldnt find much that was worth the effort. i rather fiddle wif "w,a,s,d, the space bar, and the left-mouse button" when i have time. life was a bore, life was like watching people fish - without a bait.

today, today is different.

not like my fairy god mother suddenly pop out of the pumpkin to bring me some rebecca loos to fool around with, or that i'm suddenly granted 7 wishes and i had wished for myself to become a rich sheik in arabia, or something lidat. No. my life is still as dull, but today was different. for one: instead of rebecca loos to flirt about with, i had rebecca TOH to play tennis with even after PE. Although a far cry from loos in terms of publicity, i'd pick toh anytime over that b*tch. (and i meant bitch, not butch. dangs y did i even bother sensoring in the first place?) only concern: Ms Shini is totally hopeless when it comes to tennis. i'd say...terrible? hahas...i'm terribler.

thats not the main concern of coz. the main concern is of coz for people feeling down to start cheering up. this is a sweeping statement. meant for ALL out there who thinks that i may be referring to u. there's simply too many cases of friends i care about feeling down at this moment. due to an assortment of reasons. some of which i do not really comprehend, or priviledged enuff to noe, and some that i caused directly. i totally understand that telling people to "cheer up" is gay. and pointless to a large extent, since the persons wun be better miraculously. (unless the person is fretting that u're not concerned abt her and u telling her automatically disproving her worry and her cheering up immediately.) Other than that, "cheer up" becomes just another formality. Just one of the set of things to say in a certain situation. and understanding this logic, of perhaps only my point of view, i feel totally helpless whenever i see my friends feeling down - and out. looking by the side can actually hurt, and knowing the person is trying to protect u by telling u there's nothing much actually wrenches ur heart. its a dilemma; telling the sad person "i care for u" direct is different from telling her "i love u" (which i say to everyone all the time). saying it directly - while knowing u can't really do anything - is kinda fakey, yet letting her know u'll be there could prove to be important to her. the conflicting resutls always leave me speechless, and i'm not myself. so, today was not all that good afterall. heh...tho it was really fun picking up tennis balls wif becca. (to say we played tennis would be a lie)

AND AND!! next issue! since when izit that one is not allowed to publish complaints of the world on his/her blog? "sised" is not as easily achieved as u ppl think ok? it requires a high level of fake job and of coz not forgetting having to ignore the fact that ppl reading it noe its fake. (ok some ppl) If any of these conditions are not met, its a failed "sised". so dun bother thinking that u're achieving "sised" jus becoz u publish one, or two, or three, or FOUR post of rage ok? its NOT "sised" unless i say it is ok? i dun care! i am the judge!! wahahahas... to clarify again its SUSTAINED. no sustained no sised. hahahas no one is to bring up sised-ness again!!! ok? i love white shoes. and red. and clima cooler.

before i end my sised post, - or is it? - calling all my most beloved to gimme a ring if u need a ear. i am most willing to trade a ring for a ear!!! its so worth it!! provided its as big as the ring becks gave to vic. (ok joke. hahas anyway joke within a joke: becks and vic dun mean becca and victoria from SA!! wahahahahs! ok really not funny. they not homo.) okok really stop joking, almost no one in the world is finding my jokes funny anymore. and they have their own brand of joke making me demote from a "maria" to a "pariah". Who still luffs at mine? pls tag if u even UNDERSTAND my jokes. btw...do u even noe there was a whole series of it in this paragraph? (this itself is oredi the 5th episode of the series)

i really suck at sised. wahahahahas. anyways, take care my dear(s). and sorry to at least one of them. "i care"