today as prologue

for the first time in weeks i dont have anything to do in the morning and my brother has something to do in the morning. u see? the intersection is crucial since its the only way i can actually blog - without him looking at me. not like i really that he's reading it since he too knows my address and he could easily read it online as well. but then its jus not right to have someone reading ur drafting of ur blog. the blogging process is somewhat like a filtering of thoughts to me, and i only present the clean, or at least acceptable thoughts to the rest of the world. (my blog would have been longer each time, but alot was "backspaced") in any case... i shld go down to blogging already and not waste more time telling the readers why i can finally blog in the morning. heh..

for those of u who havent seen me in a long while... i miss all of u. and i dun mean the odac'ers whom i havent seen for like 26 seconds or something. i meant people like my eternal buddies, like that koo and alvin, and my sec school pals like shiyan, tong huat, aihua, et cetera.. these are the people whose name have almost never appeared on my blog, yet they were once important people in my life. so today's blog... is mainly for these people. i'm sorry we havent been able to keep in contact as often as we would have loved to. but u see? its actually a cycle. the fact that i hate losing batch after batch of friends would ensure that the older batches actually got more "lost" than they shld be. u see the thing is... if i spend alot of time trying to catch up with these people... then i'll one day have to go catch up with the people that i'm currently very .... actively involved with. so to stop this, some friends would have to be sacrificed to allow for this STUPID cycle to stop. heh... i'm sorry i'm using such harsh words, but its the truth. of cos... i'd still try to keep in contact with these people, especially the sec sch ppl (since the 2 in koo and alvin NEVER seem to get lost. hahas they keep popping up in my life and i'd say it doesnt take much effort from any of us to stay in contact. we're already "so each other". to think abt it, i'd say we were all one another in some point of time in this friendship that has lasted for more than half my lifetime - 10 years in fact, going into the 11th. koo was always the bastard, alvin always the lover, and ivan always the lovely bastard. we switch roles once in a while, but we both agree that koo especially likes the bastard role. hiak hiak..) ok so its the sec sch ppl that this is dedicated to..

i dunno how many of them actually still reads my blog considering i dun really talk to many of them already. (to think they used to be the only ones that i talk to and because of them i actually didnt have much time to know other sec sch mates like becca toh - we didnt talk for the whole 2 years that we were in the same class- and now, its because of ppl like her that i dun spend much time with these people. what an irony!) but if they actally do happen to read this and wonder how i'm doing these days? i'd really tell them that i'm doing really fine. really. minor shits still happen to me every 5.23 days, but its nothing serious. from the bigger picture, i..... am enjoying my life - in fact. 2 years ago, after my o levels, i was living pretty much this kinda life as well, but at that time i didnt learn to appreciate it and only realise that it was one of the bestest periods of my life after that. oh wells... anyway, i'm really living life to the fullest now. i was on a job-hopping rampage for the past couple of weeks or so, trying out everything from bottle cap screwing to being the shenton way class marketing person, to serving taufik batisah at some police-media annual event. and in the middle of it all, u throw in some really good times i had with rebecca. french, french fries, friends, frying friends! (like how we fried weilin upside- down for being pump attendant heh..) precious moments. den there was becca's birthday when i gave her a shock more than a pleasant surprise, hahahas!! oh people... if u're feeling a little "kong1 xu1" inside of u, like some unexplainable emptiness... there can only be 2 reasons. one. u have more male friends than female and most of them are in the army already. two. u miss studying and sitting in a classroom listening to a some cute teacher talking. trust me, for the first problem, i cant help u since i dun have that problem at all (considering even both koo and alvin are still not in nee soon prison) and i have enough friends to be neglecting some - i'm saying it with regret and not pride. how i miss carol.. heh.. but trust me again, for the second problem, go take up a course. learn a language! learn to cook! learn to cook up a language! learn caveman!!! *register with mr foo chuan wei at 9382???1 today! * take night courses so it doesnt affects ur work, or rather, so ur work doesnt affects it. french lessons have been really great for me so far.

and then there's the festives. chinese new year is always a hit. besides the ang pows, (hahahas) there's the gathering. aww its really nice to see relatives whom u havent seen in a long time. i had my reunion dinner a few days ago already, mine was an early dinner - an ingenious idea by my granny, she said chances are that if we do it on the actual day itself many ppl would be working and it wun really be a complete reunion. which is so true considering today is reunion night and i AM really working. hahas... looking forward to tml tho... day one of chinese new year when everyone is supposed to feel happy and cheery even if u lose money on the gambling table. (hahas i didnt really get it until last year -thanks to BB's history. in a gambling table where only family members are participating in some minor wager, it really IS a zero sum game. true that it means that the aggregates wins and losses would eventually balance up and the family would not win as a whole. flip it over, and it means that the family would not lose on a whole! added to that, the uncles and aunties get some entertainment out of it and economically speaking, it is still a net gain! children with their little 20-50 cents wager get to learn the rules of chances, and how everyone is equal on the table. ah, i'm actually advocating gambling, what a sin. but i guess my granny sees the good side of it as well and she's always allowed children as little as 4 to join in the table. hahahs... my cool family. ah then there's the cousins. ever-sickening shit. they're either always comparing results with each other (excluding me) or asking me to give them tuition EVEN DURING CNY!!! some parents just dunno when to stop, my parents on the other hand have always been using he reverse psychology since i started schooling at 7 - they always tell me that if i find it really tough den i can jus drop out of school lor... and they say it with a straight face. ah and i turn out so fine. wat the heck. i'm gonna do that to my kids in future if i ever have any. heh... back to the ever-sickening shittes. one of my cousin, actually he's my little god-brother, he's from the act-cool-society, the aunty's-clever-shit, the angmoh-cheena-school, the appearance-causes-suffering, ...... the ACS. after 10 whole years of AC shit being drilled into his mind, all that's left of him is jus not right, if thats not rhetorical enough. i hate his hair. and so to his face i told him direct, "hey, i dun like ur hair". it was those kinda dried up spikey look like some kinda "liu lian" (durian) with a "sng buay" (sour plum) texture. so AC. and candice told me that in AC u're either the poser or the loser. hahas i found it quite amusing actually. heh...

basically thats been my life for the past 6 weeks or so. not much time left to slack about, even when i get to go online, it's almost always about checking for candice's mail and then replying it with an equally long one. and now she's back in singapore, met up with her last night. she hasnt changed much actually, though i must say i had fears that we wun be able to talk much after 1 month plus having not seen each other. heh... u see? there's so much left to tell her abt, so much that i shldnt blog about here. i'm really looking forward to the next couple of months that is to come, i want to spend more time with becca and candice, so much left unexplored, so much left unsaid, so much to make right. i wonder if you feel this way too.

bah enough of blogging , so for those ppl out there who havent seen me in ages, i'm really having the time of my life. dun worry abt me k? actually can still call me out la, but chances is that u ppl would be spending alot of time with ur own set of new friends already, and like me, u ppl probably wouldnt want to meet me often at the expense of these group of friends that u want to keep in close contact for the rest of ur lives. heh... tatas..