the long way home.

the average age of first marriages in the world has increased undoubtedly. many reasons has been tagged to it - want for money, want for power, want for autonomy, want for recognition. i personally saw a different light to the cause of it all: "red tape" - SOCIAL "red tape".

since the beginning of time, take Adam and Eve for example, they were MADE to be a couple, of cos they joined at a young age. there was to be no courtship, no need for excessive expressions of desire (later termed "love" by the more cultured society).

then came the barbaric age. still no courtship, but there were to be more and more males and females around. the males try to fight off each other in order to get more chances of continuation of species; the females protect each other from this mindless need of the male (its still apparent in the 21st century, when girls bitch to each other about which guy is a bad guy etc). hence, it became more difficult for the sexes to join - albeit marginally.

then came the tribal ages. want for power and recognition takes over. as men form clans and then within which strive to become "chief" or some sort of a leader. this act could be explained as a natural instinct to protect the women of their tribe - so that they belong only to the men of the tribes. (amazons being the exception, they were lesbian). within this "civil" tribe, pursuit happens. women get to choose the men, but only within their own tribe. still, the powerful men didn't not really have to go through much of a headache of choice because they could take 7, 20, 56 wives if their influence goes further than their sexual drive.

then there's this blur stage in evolution.

nobody knows when and where it happened, but suddenly, the word "couple" was coined and monogamy became the call of the day. it became a two-people issue. (although at some parts of the world i understand that they are still very.... barbaric.) along came the word "love". a binding word that holds two persons within a single matrimony together. of cos, the word "divorce" was also adopted in order to default any wrong -unsatisfactory- choices. now, faced with opportunity costs, the age of marriage was pushed back significantly. this is justified by the fact that you cant marry a girl at age 14 and hope that she looks the same at age 24. (what if she turns out to be a victim of puberty?)

until recently, the decision to join was still a very simple process. the Chinese man would bring gifts and golds to the house of the woman and "buy off" her parents into marrying the daughter to the highest bidder. the English, being more "cultured", decides who he wants to place his hopes of continuation on, and then pops the question, " will you be my wife". Bang. yes or no. there was never a "will you be my girlfriend" sort of thing - until recently. more and more "red tape" in case you haven't already realised through my plain portrayal.

today, men have to search within our protected community, choose only ONE spouse, go through courtship-to-become-girlfriend, become lovers, fight off modern amazons, go through courtship-to-become-wife, survive breakups, tolerate pre-marital sex, become FINANCIALLY SECURE, fight off competition, and finally buy a ring (that really jeopardizes financial security), pop the will-you-marry-me question, and the girl will say "yes but we have to wait for our HDB application to go through, i dun wanna stay with your parents".

kinda explains it, doesn't it?