i screwed up

alby once told me that there's something wrong deeply-rooted within me. she may be right after all. sometimes i try my best not to screw up, but i do. and while i try to apologise, i make things grow messier and messier. perhaps i didnt deliver as promised, couldnt live up to expectations. i always think that i have moral courage, that i have barbaric courage, and that i have stupidity courage, and dumdum courage. and basically just that.... i would do anything i want to and FUCK everything that i don't agree to - making many enemies in the process. many friends can vouch for that, many enemies can too. =X but today i screwed up. i screwed up totally. Cutting her deep deep. she's by far one of the most exciting friend i ever had, and i guess sometimes i have to fight for it. maybe she's more disappointed in me than anything else, after everything that she did for me. i kept saying that she dun trust me, but maybe i was wrong. she trusted me TOO MUCH which is what cut her deepest. why am i so stupid? (from now on u have the right to call me stupid, or bodum.) i have nothing more to defend myself on, i realise even last night's post sounds defensive. i just ask for your forgiveness. quite simply, just that. i promise i'll try harder to be your red-pill friend.


and danson, go back to your own blog. and you're not supposed to know i have pink hair, u stalker. go listen to your 30 seconds of music.