Busy Busy Rush Rush

To anyone who thinks that post graduation and pre-employment equates to a life of bumming around for me, i jus wanna say it can't be further from the truth.

Its true I already have a job-in-waiting, which saves me from having to send resumes and attending 10s of interviews; its true I have no more exams to worry about, but life is so much more than we, as students, know it to be.

I've been more busy for the past 10 days than I've been for a long time. Learning -and failing- to drive; attending church and related seminars; watching plays and musicals and a free leonard-made-me-attend school concert; spending time having good and sincere conversations.

Quite honestly, I see myself as struggling. I wake up around 9 each day, sometimes earlier. My schedule depends on my efficiency in laying everything out flat. (Sometimes they cross and I end up having to leave cheryl alone in town to rush for some leonard-made-me-go concert) Even now, I am blogging on the go, in between learning to stop the car and learning to turn right. -_- I feel drained, but happy, on most nights - accomplished.

I want to write many letters, heartfelt ones. To many people. In fact, many letters to some people. I regret that I spent my 21st birthday as any other day and even having dinner alone. (I'll never get to see all my friends gathered at once, and feeling I've left a footprint somehow on earth) I'm glad I have an innate capacity to comprehend and handle intimacy, even engineering it at times. Sometimes I feel such strong feelings towards people I love, dying to burst out of me, or else causing detrimental implosion. I dunno what to say or how to act whenever I feel this way, and most times I just secretly hope a hug would be exchanged. A good, sincere, unfearing (comfortable, non awkward) hug.

Alas, its not how love is manifested in my life, and I buy honeystars or a postcard instead. Its how elusive it has become - love, sad.