lethargy

the past few weeks has been nothing more than a certain form lethargy - psychological lethargy. you know how sometimes we go from strength to strength, and gaining more and more momentum in whatever we do? now imagine the opposite and thats me. yea i know, its pretty bad.

i try to stay up longer to do work, but its super inefficient. i end up watching TV or like yesterday, "Maru the cat" -_- i try to sleep earlier, but i still wake up realising its 11am. to be honest, i think the most alive i've felt for the past 2 weeks must have been the few hours that i was with denise kok. perhaps because with her, talk is always good, and most importantly its never about how much to study or when exams end or the likes. anyway, i just had good fun - talking and walking.

perhaps its also because i miss the presence of a particular cheryl lee whom i now only see on sundays - for 2 hours (nett of taxi jams, talking abt liverpool with her mancheater-united-turned-liverpool-convert brother, and time spent concentrating on my kambing soup) and i miss her and she doesnt miss me, and ask that i send her a mail with the blood i vomitted because of her.

perhaps its because i have a grey room now instead of red, and i'm no longer in my element (although i seriously think i rest better in it now, perhaps im resting TOO well now.)

i need to start finding my feet soon. i cant stand my own lethargy.