fingers alive.

"sam...sam....its getting heavier each day~ i cant take it much longer~ but this ring was given to me, and me onli! if i dun do it, no one else will"

i'm feeling very tired nowadays. with odac sucking my brains out, singing corny songs like "i am a horn i am a horn" in no more than 2 tunes is making me mad! but that aside, many more things are happening very closely at a go. i feel like a man hard pressed for time, as if time is the onli deciding factor between life and death. i'm in such a hurry...i dun even noe why...but this is going to go on until nxt week at least. even as i type this post...i'm trying to do a hurried post so that i'll have some time doing other stuffs thats just as unimportant. tho i say they are unimportant, too many of these stuff makes u feel cramped and frustrated! so many minute minute thingy!! feel like jus using one day to wipe out all at a go!! yet again ---as i already said--- i dun have a day to spare! so i needa take this little little in-between timings to do all the "stuffs". today's cross c'try just made it worse (i'll go into details later), running that stupid 4.8 km just sucked wadeva battery left in me away. and then odac had to go on! and i cant go on the first and perhaps last class outting ever. fell asleep for a split second standing up at 2PM in the bright sun!!! and now u can imagine how tired i am now. first time i actually said "no" to soccer after odac. i guess my body and mind and heart and soul realli cant take it anymore. and how i was hoping i had a teleporting device to jus beam me home.

cross country is the most sucky thingy i have done in months. its the first time i sucked in so much air in such a short duration! dats y its sucky---reason number one. then the milo van serves sucky milo. and after drinking makes me feel like puking. ended up i drank mineral water from the cup thingy... using a straw (and sucking). thats y its sucky---reason number two. den i had to go thru the torment of watching so many wussies i overtook during the course of the run take medals. i tell u so many of them were far behind me and i can even tell u where and when i overtook them. but they get the stupid metal pieces of silverware, which is most prob jus made of plastic, coated wif aluminium. hollow metal---no pun intended. and i get to suck in more air. thats y its sucky---reason number three. but one reason why its not sucky---it dealt a "blow" to my ego. ego bruise. argh~ shall not even think of x-c'try anymore!! it does not exist. it does not exist. it does not exist.

trying to remember how to sing "i am a horn" song. guess i'm not feeling horny at the moment!~ hahas...

getting sick of being "tentatively" agreed for a date. i noe this is damn obvious screaming in ur face! but it was meant to be! wahahahas....... tell u wat. u watched moulin rouge? "hurt him. hurt him to save him. there is no other way" PLEASE dun dun dun gimme false hope in future. jus ...jus.."N.O. NO" i'll feel disappointed nonetheless, but this than that. anyway....i realised i havent been a good fren as well. always making noise. pls 4giv me. hahhas...but i wun change.

this weekend is robbed. fri, sat,sun. all odac. its gonna drain me further yet. i think a MC out of nowhere should realli do the job. i need a rest, a break from all these!! and maybe going to east coast to count waves, or to town to count number of steps from cityhall MRT to marina square. watch sunset at esplanade. (now for those of u with no experience...i done my research. to see the sunset's deep orangy light on the esplanade from the merlion, u needa be there by 1745, tho 1730 would be safer. this is becoz the sun gets covered up very early due to the tall CBD buildings.) its a beauty, trust me. go on ur own if u take going out wif me as something not right and totally out of the Qn. i'm too tired to even feel depressed now. i jus feel sucky.

decided to become valerie's penpal. she's a nice gal, it seems. but i realli cant get down to writing anything now, except lamenting on the inevitable regrettals of everday life. hope she understands the late mails. someone out there have oredi waited more than a week for my first letter. maybe she oredi 4gotten me.

a strong worker carries many bricks.
a weak worker carries little.
a dead one carries none.
---Moses, the ten commandments