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"and my innocence screams from within"
-from a particular track from "lesium"

alright both of my bestesrestest friend of 10 years are saying that i'm becoming a pervert. and the onli evidence they are using against me is this very blog. wat the heck. haha koo zheng (aka cheapo; bastard; taf club; act man; kumster; beer-bellied; "the fat one"; not-pig-faced) and alvin...this is so wrong man. hahas i AM no pervert!! people! vouch for me on my tagboard!
*all the nicks of koo zheng were efforts of simple creativity accumulated over the 10 years. in fact: "koo zheng" itself IS NOT his name, but we call and look for "koo zheng" when his family picks up the call. they understand us.*

their claim
ivan is becoming pervertic. jus read his blog...its always about gals and he seems to love almost everyone he comes across and fantasizes about them.

my defense
1. i love my friends, no doubt. jus how much for each of them. and i do not blog perversely. Carol (which they keep mentioning) is but my bestest female friend ever-tho i dun think she really cares for much. so when i say i love her, i mean it. afterall she's so lovable and absolutely endearing. BUT dont think so way off la! diao. hahas must really introduce carol to koo zheng one day, maybe they're afraid i'm having a bad-best-friend. hahahas.

2. this blog is public and people do read abt it!! especially the people i mention in there. for eg. carol and denise and chris. so i AM not pervertic like keeping a secret journal and writing abt secret crushes and fantasies abt them. NO LINK man u people!! hahas u think i hug a bolster like u(koo zheng) and ...-erm- (censored). So if these people never complain, why shld u?!?! Grrr........hahahas shld have thrown u down the swissotel while u were sleeping.

3. if u'd noticed...the people who are consistently visiting this blog are my most beloved odac'ers. they know me as a different person, they know me after the "college-morph", which is a totally different person as the "me" before sajc. so to them i am normal being ivannish, but to u 2 u'll think i'm losing myself. hahas there's onli one thing that both grps will agree on though, that i am damn lazy when i play soccer, but yet u cant deny that i am damn effective. bleah.

wow...its been a hard time trying to write the above stuffs having to consider the 2 grps of different readers. i dun wanna bore out either side, i gotta admit its really hard trying to maintain 2 sets of strong friendships. thats y i always like noeing friends from the other side, ie alvin's friends and koo zheng's friends. they're all very interesting ppl and last night was another eye opener. how long since people can actually make me appreciate their sense of humour, considering most ppl find lameness as a heretic form of humour. well...alvin's friends (those sitting in the same table as me during dinner) had a different air about them. they seem like the people u would see in "armed and dangerous" (a HK gangster movie where the gangsters are actually the protagonists and the police being the antagonist). they looked like -wow- wat u would call "pai kias", and they speak fluent hokkien -for once! once they get comfortable enough, they start their barrage of side-splitters. totally impressive, call it toilet humour, but someone as crass as me certainly wouldnt mind at all. hahas..

the very bad one was when we were supposed to drink to 3 cries of "yam seng" (which is kinda odd since i thot once was enough?) anyway, for both of the first 2 cries, our "yam" was so loud and long that we totally drown out the "seng" that was apparently uttered very softly by the other old and lackadaisical guests somewhere along the way. so by the time we ran out of breath shouting "yam" and all ready to shout "seng", the rest are all ready to go onto their next round of "yam". and we: left all confused. and they: left all frustrated and upset that age is catching up wif them, making them short of breath. and me? i was actually wondering if the 3 cries was so that the "yam seng" ceremony wldnt end in like 5 secs if we -the young ones- werent there. anyhow... by the third "yam seng", one of alvin's friends actually put down his glass, "aiyah last time no need hold already la...just shout all u can!" Everyone thot it made good sense and they were shouting wif their hands cupped beside their lips and projecting the sound like u would when u shout "referee kayu!!" as for me? i was laughing so hard i totally couldnt shout at all. this IS good stuff, if onli the odac'ers can stop being so task oriented for once. (ok this is gonna be controversial again. but i dun care) I had my fill. oh alvin...just to assure u, kang li is a nice person. tell her i have a great impression of her. (kang li is alvin's very lovely girlfriend, looks abit like xue zhen tho)

tml's THE match. i am scared. nothing good ever turns out for me whenever there's a very formal and big match. somebody, comfort me.

i can stand failure but i cant take regrets.

people sleep early tonite... unless u're watching euro2004 finals. every boy, gal and dog shld catch this, even if u're not interested in soccer. its not the most impt event on Earth per se, but at least u wun become a martian for the coming week.