the hugabugagigantata post

i jus needed to blog at this point of time (3:22am friday morning, or thursday after midnight, 7th jan) but this post would not be released to the rest of the world jus yet, so by the time readers read this, it'd be expired post. but who cares? sometimes, one needs to blog for one's sake and not always for the readers -altho i must say that the readers have been a great source of motivation for my continued writing after more than a year. (still remember it was around october 2003 that (re)becca toh si nee got me blogging. oh wells, actually she didnt exactly tell me to like "hey. go blog." all she did was to ignore me for long periods of time during our MSN chats and always use blogging as an excuse. then constantly hinting that "blogging is good" that "it allows for oneself to explore inner thots and feelings that one never thot existed until one started writing them down. the writing actually "sucks" all these thots and feelings out of the mind and the heart respectively. (well of coz... i wun deny the fact that some ppl actually think with the heart and feel with the mind. in which case the person would be lacking reason and compassion at the same time. such ppl shld be termed "dum dum" and its not their fault at all. its simply the internal structure of their body, which the external beauty of the body -often endless legs and fair complexion- more than makes up for. if u're thinking abt carol, u shld jus go and die. because u all noe i totally wun speak ill of someone who cant think.) but i digress..

was saying i need to blog, even so late at night, because i havent done that in a long while and the previous post with my email address wasn't even a post la! that was simply meant for candice to mail me. (i wondered what would happen if she actually forgot my blog address in the first place? to which she answered, that my blog address is easier to remember. now, if u actually compare, my blog is "terribler" and my email add is "think_ivan". so quite simply, she can associate "terribler" to me much easier than she can "ivan". ah. what consolation.) [laughing cue] i cant imagine the number of occasions and the extent that readers actually laugh reading my blog. and more often than not its those parts that were meant to be tragic (to me) that they find it funny. readers are a bunch of incompassionate, unfeeling bunch of animals with a bad sense of humour. and when i try to tell a joke on my blog, i always have the sort of feeling that no one finds it funny at all - and it discourages me from telling more. so basically, i think its easier to laugh at me than to laugh with me. ah. i'm a walking comedy waiting to happen. back to the point -the point that branched out from the main point- candice did mail me. speaking abt candice makes me wanna talk abt cowgirls. *boy they have really good music on class 95 late at night! i think i'm leaving my radio on tonite.* hahas i shldnt elaborate, it'll probably make the readers nose bleed and get heart attack and die. but before they actually die they'll come and kill me out of jealousy or something. so... let's jus leave it simply as... candice looked really attractive the other day. or maybe its jus those boots. ok and everything else. and her hair. ok and her smile. move on... erm... where was i? (ARGH!! i cant concentrate! attention inertia taking serious effect here!! i keep thinking abt her cow-girl "costume"!! Goodness she better not read this seriously. )

ok no more of candice, if not her head will most probably swell and burst (hah! did that sound familiar? anyway, ur liking of the round and the yin-yang and the D100 didnt exactly make my head swell. i was jus more glad u really appreciated them. heh =) )

i was trying to sort out my life jus now. den i realised that i'm already quite sorted out as yet. hahas... i feel so organised. i've never been as clear about wat to do as now. (the new room arrangement is really helping me) i realised that my path ahead shld be obvious and clear, perhaps the occasional shit in the middle of the road, but generally i'm quite at peace with myself at the moment. hahahas... so i spent the past hour or 2 trying to make my room more conducive (for what i dunno actually!! for NS?!?!) hahas... and i realise that i onli need simple things like a wastepaper basket, photo frames, and calendars! yesh u wun believe it! but i dun have a 2005 calendar in my room yet! need something big and nice, with enough space for me to scribble what-nots on my calendar as i always do. impt dates like my birthday are often decorated. used to decorate children's day as well... but after my mum decided i'm no longer a child and stopped giving me batman figurines for children's day present, i stopped. in fact, i hated that day since i went to secondary school and no longer get any off-days on 1st oct. i think i'll hate it more in future when i have kids. the onli time i'll start loving it again is when i decide my kids is past that stage and i stop giving them the Incredibles­ figurines. (i believe disney made quite alot from that cartoon and chances are they're here to stay for the next decade or two.) so anyway, i needa hunt for nice calendars. maybe if i can find any BUSHY calendars, that'd be absolutely cool! but i dun think its easily available in singapore actually. (speaking of bushy, Candice gave me something really really cool all the way from the states. its a magnet with bushy's face -a really handsome one- and a quote that says "you disarm, or we will" hahahas funky eh? i'm looking for a place to stick it now, figured the fridge -littered with other magnets- isnt exactly where i want to keep something so precious. den there's another card, one that says "terrorist license" or smth like that, with osama's face on it. keeping it in my wallet now, replacing my i/c and in somewhere easily visible. hahahas so now i'm a terrorist that mocks at bushy! and candice herself has another card, an "expired" presidential license with bushy's face. so now we're at odds. hahahas...doesnt get more funky than this i tell u ppl... kekez...) ok speaking abt calendars, i think i'll go get the marilyn monroe poster at the HMV if i cant find any better ones. Its very nice, in B&W, and marilyn monroe is, in any case, a legend in its own. (but i still prefer bush. hahahahas)

oh. and i intend to go make frameless glasses after carol commented that i look nice in them. ITS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S ACTUALLY COMPLIMENTED ME on jus abt anything of sorts!! (yesh u find it incredible, but tho i praise her abt anything -save her DDQ (dum dum quotient)- she absolutely takes pleasure in putting me down! but i dun think the readers dun know that she's not trying to not say something good.) so i AM going to make frameless glasses, if my mum dun think that wearing contacts and having 2 other pairs of glasses is a waste of money. hahahas.. its also necessary to make a black-framed plastic specs for army, so maybe not. ugh. i hate rigidity. *cryptic cryptic cryptic*

if u skipped all the way to the bottom, pls read again. mailto:!@#$%^&*(#$%^&


7th jan 2005, Friday
if this was a project done by ivan ON ivan about blogging desires and buttons fetish, den i have to say that its really proven a point, that it really does matter whether u blog with readership or without. even delayed readership or publication (considering not everyone reads the blog religiously like everynight) makes me feel weird. its like... i'm blogging about something knowing that what i said last night was not actually published to the world out there, and i cant really make any reference to last night. tml night would be worse, since u cant make reference to tonight and last night, and so on so forth. so as the days pass, and i still don't have any connection, my blogging efforts become increasingly torturous. but i shall go on nonetheless, and see wat happens at the end. i'm such a curious person, i even like to experiment on myself. But i noe that there are many things that i dun go into jus because i'm curious. certain things i have a dead-serious attitude towards them, like ppl's emotions and all. :start of body

end of intro: what do u usually do after the intro? touch on the body? (now why did that sound sick when its coming from me but perfectly normal when koh seng lin -the GP man- says it.) wow. thats fast, skipped like 50 steps la! so unless u're visiting a brothel or having an arranged marriage in a cave, there's much more to it in-between yeah? hahas ok bad joke, and like i said in the previous post, ppl dun usually laugh at my jokes, they laugh when i trip and make a fool of myself. Hmm... maybe i shld jus list some examples. guilty parties, please own up.

-some junior find it particularly funny that i cant manage to finish writing all my x'mas cards in a day. and she finds my scrambling abt very humourous. (i mean! EVERYONE cant finish their x'mas cards in a single day if u're sending like 20 of them!! and i bet many others felt the same as me during the x'mas period. jus that they didnt blog down their experience. i did - and that LX found humour in it.
-i tripped on someone's backpack (dun even ask how the heck my legs can trip on a backpack while its being carried) and my ONLY dear sis showed so much concern she was practically crying. perhaps from laughing actually. and she has the goodwill to keep reminding me of that incident whenever she sees a backpack and reminds to be careful. how thoughtful CHRISTINA.
-i called a carrot an "orange". and God knows how many ppl actually laughed. u noe wat CAROL? actually i jus meant to make u laugh lor, wasnt a blunder, really. i mean like really. who would call a carrot an orange right? ok la actually i really cocked up.
-the waitress refused to pass the "sweetie" ice blended to me, and when i pointed out to her that i AM the sweet one there, she went "right". and BECCA and WEILIN and CANDICE (the chong) has to go repeating her tone several times to emphasize that the waitress WAS trying to be sarcastic. (cant i have a minute of self-delusion?!?! )

and thats jus to list a few..

anyway, tml I'M GOING FOR SKATING WITH BECCA!!! (and weilin) ok i didnt mean to make it sound as though i'm very disappointed or indifferent that weilin is actually going as well. the lack of excitement and putting her in a bracket is simply because i'm going to skate with becca, but weilin is onli going to there to TRY to skate. or learn to skate. or try to learn to skate. or better still... learn to try to skate. kekez! (if u get wat i mean) everytime i see the word 'TRY' i tink of master yoda. "Do. Or do not. There is no TRY". hahahas hopefully weilin actually DO skate. but well... actually if she do not skate, den becca would get so frustrated that she go and skate herself and leave weilin alone. den me, being me, would of cos accompany............................... them one at a time. hahas... i so love becca, but i totally have to rebutt her regarding a point she made earlier in the day in BREKO. i do not agree that platonic love cannt exist. but i'll come to that in a while, or in the next post, since i wun be posting THIS particular post immediately and thus me writing in a separate post and me writing in this post itself at a later stage makes no difference to the readers - if there is even one considering the length of all the posts combined and posted at once.

oh, if this actually get posted before candice's return, or even after she return (but in which case it would be less significant since she wun believe that i actually typed this on the 7th jan), i would like her to noe that i miss her! Hahas... actually candice? u'll be back in less than 20 days right? not very long actually if we can actually keep in contact thru mails. hehs... its actually pretty fun to know that u have a friend few hundred miles away from home yet continue to keep in contact. somehow it makes one believe in friendship and how it isnt as meek as many claims. (or maybe only between certain ppl? jus some special ones i presume, its all about willingness to put in effort by both parties) So.. if u're not doing too badly there and everything is more than fine, i hope u actually enjoy this as much as i do. but take care nonetheless yea? [this paragraph will be deleted if not posted before candice's return to singapore.]

helping the brother to pick nice retro music for his wedding-at-the-beach now... shall be back to blog again. or maybe tml night, since i dun wanna be late tml. it shld be fun tml.. for once i shld jus stop thinking abt stuffs and do things the way i feel like it. yups!~ =)


9th of january, sunday, 3:07pm

this is a continuity of my experiment on myself. and judging by the fact that there was no post last night showed that this experiment has failed. yet in its failing it has proven the point that i set out to prove in the first place. that non-readership of blog does affect the writing style and attitude towards the blogposts. well... one day of non-writing means that there is one day less to judge whether there was a change in syle, but it clearly shows how i am getting bored of blogging without readers. (or maybe not. maybe its because i reached home so late last night after a fruitful day out with becca and weilin -and subsequently 4 other girls joining us- made me really tired.) hahas wadeva the reason, at least there wun be very very short posts like "i'm bored, i need to sleep now" or smth like that appearing on my blog. as for writing styles, i'll hafta leave it to the readers to judge....

yesterday was great. ok more than great. tried teaching weilin how to skate, but ended up both me and becca became "mobile railings" for weilin to clutch tightly onto. hahas quite funny, i think we enjoyed laughing at her more than the skating itself - which is minimal. i'm glad i learnt to skate since i could remember, at least the memory of me being the joke of the day is very vague now already. *entering into another period of self-delusion*. after a couple of hours, skating ceased like it'd never began. but well.. it really doesnt matter so long as the company is right. and becca -with weilin- is certainly right. hahahas ok sorry weilin if i made u sound inconsequential again, who told u to be so nasty to me, US, for the entire day? hahas... oh anyway, weilin is working as a pump attendant, and xinyi calls it a case of "da3 you2 xiao3 mei4 mei4". hilarious stuff. erm... actually its hilarious because weilin isnt EXACTLY a pump attendant. kekez... tho she's close to one.

then something terrible happened at night. (well it didnt turn out to be as terrible eventually, but still... how could such ppl even exist)
i thought i saw tears welling up around her eyes. well, it WAS so sad that i felt hurt too, how could she not.

anyway! let's not dwell on bad things.. there's always better things to come! like french lessons! speaking of which i havent exactly registered yet! i'm meeting becca on monday, and hopefully there are still vacancies available. so so so excited abt this whole thing. bet becca is as well. wonder if candice is like thinking abt us and french lessons. hahahas... well, she shld be too busy to think of anything more than 3 days away. heh..

and i havent found a job. goodness me.


9th january, later in the day.. 11:58pm

jus back from my cousin's wedding. she's... merely a year older than me, i cant imagine myself getting married in a year's time. there's still so much left to do, and i havent got a girlfriend in the first place either. hahas... oh and as usual, relatives commenting that i'm getting more crappy and handsome. i mean... i think they wouldnt be surprised if i brought jolin tsai to this year's reunion dinner next month. ugh relatives. eternal bane of my free life. oh, i saw a malaysia public bus number 123. hahahas and i dun have to say who it reminded me of. hint: u live right at the roundabout, have a sweet smile, and you ARE not my classmate. (well.. u were, and u will be. kekez)

hong hui offered to help me blog since i cant actually do it at home. hahas how nice. but i turned him down, simply because I"M DOING THE ALL IMPT EXPERIMENT!!! i noe he wun be reading this right now, but by the time he sees this it would mean that i have internet access and i no longer need him to help me blog. which actually meant that i did not have to type this paragraph since explanation is not really necessary once i have internet access. but well... its the thrill of it. hahas...

going for chapter 5 of to-hunt-for-a-decent-job tml... hopefully i really do find one. after tml, i'll really hafta accept anything that comes along. i'm having trouble getting pass my own conscience, luxury of sloth means that a slight change in price results in high change in quantity demanded in the opposite direction. in simpler terms, no one really NEEDs to be lazing around, and any job is better than none. (i got a feeling i'll fail econs if u make me take it again)

after chapter 5 of to-hunt-for-a-decent-job i'm having trying-to-register-for-french-course 1.1 (1.0 was when i went there alone den decided to still wait for becca afterall.)

"it seemed forever stopped today" -supreme, robbie williams
how sad can this be? yet, it can also be interpretted as something really sweet. depends on how u see it, so maybe... candice? since u like to analyse lyrics so much. hahas..

i'm feeling drunk. needa go off NOW NOW NOW! (hahas ok that was inspired by someone's blog that goes... "its history notes NOW NOW NOW!!!" hahahas sorry dear. jus joking.) good nights all.


11th january, tuesday, 12.22pm

i've never been able to understand this. why is that the 11th ordinal number in english called the "eleventh" and not "ten-first" or smth lidat? i mean... u dont call ordianl number 21 twenty-oneth, do u? instead u call it "twenty-first." Hmm... weird.ok nvm... jus the random thot of the day. i've been having far too many random thots of late, which could be as a result of blogging too much and hence brainstorming too much or it could because i'm having too many of these thots that i AM actually blogging so much? no idea, but one thing i do noe is that i really do blog alot. (and chris agrees that its because i blog too much that i can easily write a small book of craps. erm... candice would noe what we mean) oh i'm beginning to see a change in this 10-day experiment actually, change in my writing style i mean. nowadays, i'm always writing an intro to my blogpost! every date would have a little first paragraph trying to explain irrelevant stuff, (well... most of it was made to seem really relevant, but its not. trust me.)

had breakfast with chris today!! yeah! chris as in chris the tina. my beloved christina cheh cheh. hahas... i dunno whats the reason, but we seem to hit it off very well whether we're with a grp of ppl or alone with each other. (er... actually this happens between me and many other ppl, but since i'm talking abt chris i had to mention smth abt this.)hahahas maybe its because i dun really bother abt other ppl when i'm talking to anyone, so basically it'll be the same kinda feeling no matter whether i'm in grp with someone or alone. oh.. if i said "i love u" to u in front of many others, pls dun take it that i'm only joking and only meaning to make u embarrassed or smth... its jus that i dun really care if there're others around, and i dun wanna wait for another chance to tell u this. the feeling would not be the same anymore. for me? it has to be said there and then. on the spot. hahahas *i see weird eyes looking at me from all over* but its jus how it works for me. (oh wells.. actually it doesnt exactly "work" since u all can see that i'm still single and everything... hahahas but its jus how i choose to handle things.) but i digress... i was at breakfast with chris, dunno why suddenly talking abt this. hahas... so it was breakfast with chris at alif restaurant at gombak. hahas... she thot it was my "childhood hangout" or smth. well... conversation was pleasant -as always- and without any fillers. we hardly have enough time for all the funny things we had to share, thus there was no place for things like "how're u doing? etc etc" we plunge straight in with chris saying "wats with hong hui and selling car parts?! " and me continuing the joke of yesterday. (the act like we dunno each other incident. hilarious... especially when hong hui told the person... "oh ivan ar... yea i noe him la... friend, but so-so onli..." hahahas) gosh i felt like breakfast was a "constipated diarhoea". (ok chris this has got nothing to do with the macdonald's or the u alone in mrt LOL-ing incident -which i REFUSE to blog in my post) it was a constipated diarhoea simply because we had too much to talk over too short a period of time. Grr.... we shld have met at like 6am or smth lidat la! hence breakfast was a hurried one. alot of things havent say yet, yet those that were said were spoken with a faster-than-usual verbal pace. wat a waste of my bus transport fare. (oops! bash me if u would chris. hahahas....)

den there was this stupid stretch of road that i'll call seeing-no-link-ppl road from now on. i saw koo zheng, den i saw min min. (min who????????? ok min min. that touch rug girl that i DONT KNOW at all !!?! yups thats her alright. she stopped when we walked by her and started talking to me as if she knew me. i mean i noe who she is and i think she knew who i am la, but we dunno each other!! ) after abt 2 minutes of conversation, she walked away and chris asked "who is that?" i said "someone i dunno." hahahahas how funny. maybe i shld have gotten to noe her earlier. afterall she was koo zheng's swiss friend (yesh koo zheng again!! which is why i think its so coincidental!) i even told min min to walk ahead faster and find koo zheng. so it was... another girl talking to me when i dunno her. (am i really that cute??) Hmm... ah. thinking abt it, koo zheng once mistakenly thot that i was infatuated with THAT min min when i gave a particular sun yanzi lookalike a pet name in "min min" as well.. Geesh!

and that STUPID singnet person said that internet connectivity is normal already, and that "its the problem with the modem... or perhaps the router... or perhaps the com... or perhaps the cable... or perhaps the phoneline..." -or perhaps her brain and her goddammit attitude. i hate singnet when they make us pay to listen to their excuses instead of jus sending someone down to check it out. if thats customer service then i think i can easily get a job at singnet. maybe they even provide employees with a standard issue "book of 1001 excuses". so anyway, i still cant go online. but i'm catching up on naruto. i have over 120 episodes of it -and still adding- yet i havent watched more than 96% of it.

having interview later. the 643rd interview i'm having already. den after that its to YMCA!! hawhaw finally meeting rebecca. ok i jus met her on friday and saturday, but there's been sunday and monday and i'm missing her already. this time around i'm resolute. IF she didnt turn up again.... i'm .. i'm... i'm not going to scold her. (hahahas i wanted to say i'd go ahead without her but realised i can never bring myself to do it) if she doesnt turn up, i'm going to her place, and help her settle everything tml. seriously think 24hrs a day is not enough for someone like her. she needs maybe 87 hours? 50 hours extra to slack about, and the 3 for her to walk around her house to pick up her bloody PHONE!!~ GRrrr!!~ hahahas (ok i can never act angry).

gotta go for now. tatas. i think maybe i'll post soon. perhaps lan shop or smth..


12th jan, wednesday, 11.55pm
i'm blogging with a very tired mind. and if i blog toom uch tonight i'll most probably die tml at work. anyway work is major fun. shall blog abt it some other day. Hope i'll be able to settle in quick enough though... but i think its' gonna get very tiring from here on. afterall i live 90 minutes away from my workplace. damn! oh wells realised i live 90 minutes away from many places. i hate living in boon lay.

anyway, i met up with rebecca yesterday. and she was late. actually she's seldom late, jus as little times as she met up with me only. hahahas (oops sorry becca... i noe i sound rather petty here -though i waited for 50 mins- but actually i'm really not angry yesterday ok? and even now when i'm blogging it down it was jus meant as a joke to tease u. hahas when u didnt turn up 40 mins after 7pm, i was more worried that u got lost or smth. afterall u dun have a a good -or any- sense of direction. oops!! sorry again! hahahas shit i've taken a liking to suaning u!~ ) we had a nice little chatting session,somehow its always nice talking to becca... simply love it. anyway, i dun think i'll be seeing her anytime soon again, she'll most probably disappear into the twillight zone again and only appear on the 24th of january - IF i try to remind her that lessons start then. heh...

anyway i needa leave already. desperately need rest now. tatas...


Monday, January 17, 2005 9:19am
oh cool. I didn’t realize that u can jus turn off the irritating spell and grammar check in MS word. Hahas I’ve been using word pad lately simply because I didn’t want to see those red and green zig-zag lines all over my blog posts. Like hello?? Who EVER blogs in standard English???? I mean… there’s bound to be some non-english words like la leh li lor in a blogpost right? So I dun really like it when they keeo suggesting that my spelling is wrong when in fact is is the com that doesn’t know the word!! Grr…. Den there’s the problem of fragmented sentences. When I blog, I usually dun make more sense than why leaves are green and why shittes are brown. So there’s always the case of imcomplete sentences everywhere! And I dun really care! For all I noe.. the readers dun really care as well! Heh… they jus wanna read this, but not like they would normally read articles. From wat I’ve been hearing from many different ppl… everytime they read my blog they simply hear my voice saying all these things. And I talk like that. Oh. Why do I WANT to use MS word then? That’s because they have auto recovery. My goodness that’s a good function when ur com crashes for no apparent reason in the middle of blogging!! Grr…. And that was how I lost an entire post last night. And I never like to re-blog. Its dirty stuff. Jus not right. U can never get back the same feeling as the first time u wrote it.

anyway… in case u’re wondering why I’m blogging at this kinda time instead of working?? I JUS QUITTED!!~ hahahas… ok actually I blogged abt my new job last night, but then it crashed. (it was a “new job” last night, but now its my “old job” since I found another job late last night and now I’m leaving my was-new job) ok I think in order for the readers to know what I am talking abt here… I’d better talk abt my was-new job first. Ok I got into this company doing advertising... NO? I’m not a saleman, because although both sales and advertising belong to the same big family of marketing, we’re fundamentally different! Ok the job was fun, and the ppl there was fun. Though I had to travel 90 mins to work everyday (which means I have to leave home at 630 everyday!) I didn’t really think much of it. heh.. the job involves going around talking cock to ppl and nothing much else to do. In the 3 days that I was there, I really learnt a lot of stuffs. The tricks of their trade, how they can make use of impulses and urges to make one lose that self-control for jus that ONE minute and complete a successful pitch. They even teach u how to give a choice that is really not a choice in its own. The best example of it would be to ask the pitchee “3 or 5 sign ups for u sir?” and him being the smart aleck would think we’re trying to trick him by giving him 2 fake options. Either one would get him actually. Hence he would choose a third option thinking he’s very smart… “one would do” voila! And he’s been bagged! That’s jus ONE of the many tricks that they actually teach u. its my favourite actually. Of cos besides all these conning… there’s also other stuffs that I learnt, like how to smother the area and not to burn it to get maximum heat. (I always believe that the heat they were referring to here was intended to be a pun for “hit” by the predecessors. By somehow this idea was lost along the way and the the ppl there now onli know that “to smother produces more heat” without knowing why this metaphor was used. Hmm… anyway it’s a pretty fun job, and the onli reason I quitted was simply because I cant take it anymore. This job is not physically tiring at all, but its draining mentally and spiritually. I keep having this feeling that I’m trying to go around conning other ppl and I dun feel good abt myself. I guess I would rather a job that gets me all sweating and tired. At least at the end of the day I would noe that I’ve been productive and I wun go to hell doing my job. (ha. One funny thing. How do I pray that God help me in my job? “oh lord… pls grant me the strength and wisdom to know what to do to effective con the ppl that I meet” ????? no way man! So? I’ve decided to quit. Or rather I have already done so. )

so this morning I’m not doing verbal warm ups like I’ve been doing for the past week. I no longer have any concerns that I will be tongue-tied when I meet ppl. But I seriously miss the morning sessions that we had dancing and cheering about. Great rapport I would say. Haiz… anyway! Found this job at a restaurant! Hahahas it was always only my 2 interest to work either in a restaurant (not fast food!) or in marketing. Since marketing didn’t work out, I guess restaurant work is the onli option for someone that has but a few months to go before NS. Actually I jus dun want to be wasting time at home. This job shld give me emough time to do the things that I want to yet not slack around half of my wake time. Ok enough abt jobs. Moving on…

my 10 days is coming to a close. This experiment shld end soon enough. Although I haven’t been blogging regularly for the past week due to the advertising job, I still hope that readers dun kill themselves reading this hugabugagigantata post. (oh this is the name I told Candice I would name my experiment in my mail to her. It was jus a lame thot den that it shld sound like some kinda caveman language for huge-big-gigantic post. But since I already mentioned it to her, I shall not change the name. and that’s where the name came from) anyway I’m really wondering if there is actually still surviving readers out there. So I’m here to do an experiment. Readers? If u’re still reading this post, pls tag the word ‘brocolli’ on my tagboard. Yesh it is an irrelevant word, so that readers that died out before this point wun noe wat this broccoli thing is all about. Kekez.. I’m quite the evil one am I not?

Anyway.. Candice is not coming back to singapore so soon. She jus postponed her return and now there’s quite a lot of problem. (like how I’ll have to miss her for longer, how she’ll miss becca’s birthday, how the French teacher is gonna kill her etc etc) hahahas… jus joking.. at least now I know that she’s doing so well in chiang mai that she’s staying longer. Most important thing is that she’s enjoying herself right? And I’m so glad that she is. (I hear she does spastic stuffs there like playing “bumper carts” ?????? ) she even has time to visit the internet café!!! So Chris? That place is not all abt tom yam onli yea? Candice if u’re reading this, (I noe u are) see u in exactly 3 weeks yea? 21 days. 504 hours only!! And suddenly it doesn’t seem so long, does it? why do I go right down to the hour? Because.. I reckon that we would be meeting on Monday at 10 am on the 7th feb. u noe why. Hahas…shh…..

I LOST MY WOW FILE!!!!! Can some kind soul out there pls gimme my wow file?!?!?!?! I dunno how many ppl out there actually have it, but I’m sure someone reading this out there has it!! Carol? Hong hui? Chris? Hahahas anyone! And pls hush hush about wat the wow file is all about ok? I only want to show it to my dear becca. Oh and of cos.. I’m supposed to “take good care of #6789 (ie becca)” while Candice is away. At least that was what she asked of me. Hahas so becca? Pls dun die now ok? if not I’ll be held accountable. Hahahas (ok la jus joking… I’ll be more sad than worried that I’ll get into trouble. U noe I love you. Heez )

Oh I’m meeting Jaime for lunch before I report to the restaurant at suntec for work tonite. So I think I better dun blog so much le. Not good to be late. And suddenly I feel I’m so lucky. Always in the company of cute girls.. hais… but makes me feel kinda guilty actually. Carol keeps calling me a flirt because of this –which I am not. Jus because all my male friends are in NS and I go lunching with a female doesn’t mean that I’m a flirt ok? haiz…nvm.. I thought u understood me better than anyone out there. (hahas anyway how can a eunuch be a flirt??? Hahahas!! To all readers: carol is my queen. I’m to do her bidding even when she makes impossible demands like “I want whipped potato!” –in a train to Malaysia. Enough said. Hahas… dun angry carol.. u noe I love u as well.) carol is still my best friend man… irreplaceable person. (but can add la, dunnit to replace mahs. Hahahas)

I’m gone.

*jus wondering how bumper carts is played. Sounds really extreme. Hmm…..*


Tuesday, January 18, 2005 01:03pm
Uncertainty Uncertainty Uncertainty. It’s creeping everywhere in this period of transition. I can’t seem to settle down for anything these days. I’m always pushing for change. I cant stand certainty anymore. Afterall I only have a few more months before I’m in NS and I don’t wanna waste this precious time doing something mundane and then live to regret it in future. Take for example jobs. I changed my job yesterday, yet, I’m not at all satisfied at all. I think of the weekends that I have to sacrifice for the job. I think of the night-outs that I have to forgo. I think of all the social gatherings that could mean so much more to me. And suddenly… a job that pays well isnt so much of a concern to me anymore. I jus want something that allows to me do the things that I still desire doing. Let me put it bluntly, I dun wish to waste time making money and not having any avenue to spend it. Its simple as that. IF I can actually choose the ideal job, it would be a 5 day week 9-5 kinda job. I dun wanna work night time. Night time is for family, for friends, for breko gatherings, for dining out and enjoying the moment. Afterall I wun really have much chance to do such things with many of my friends in future. I think much will change after NS and meanwhile I really want to get as much memories as I possibly can. Then there’s french lessons. Which I will –by all means- not allow my job to affect. Its really the only thing I’m looking for ward to nowadays and I cant even wait for it to start. As for weekends… I thought I wouldn’t mind working on weekends. Then I was wrong. Perhaps Saturday mornings is fine, BUT I simply cannot be working noeing that there’s some kinda gathering going on elsewhere. Like I said I think I really value my friends a lot these days. Well some other friends might be working during weekends as well… (for eg carol..) but at least I can go visit her if I’m not working u see? (to date, I havent really been able to do that yet. Sorry carol…) ah well… I think I’m ranting am I not? Hahas… but I think this is jus my general feeling. Actually… I seriously dun mind something that pays lower than market rate. Not like I really need a lot of money to survive right? Heh…but I think its really most impt to know that I won’t be regretting. Oh wells…I shall see wat happens. I think my parents are rather supportive this time around. They don’t really complain that I’m complaining abt my jobs. (normally they would) I think they do understand that I want to do something I like during this short period of time. Perhaps I deserved it. Hahas… so pls readers… keep ur comments to urself abt my work attitude. This is jus how I choose to feel, but whether I can actually spend the next few months living out my will is another matter altogether.

Anyway… I think this is jus the 7th post since I stopped blogging with the HUGE EMAIL address post. Ten days? Or more than that already? Dun really care. Some of the days I jus forgot abt blogging.. so there u have it, an incomplete 10 day blog post. I’m gonna post this hugabugagigantata post like today. Ah. This experiment is finally coming to a close. Figured that readers are really important to the blogger –me at least. Without the readers, there really isnt any reason to blog. (unless of cos u mean to keep it as a diary, a log of events. In which case ur blog would be extremely boring and no one would wanna read it ANYWAY. So if that’s the case, spare the world and keep a good old pen and paper diary instead.)

Alright now… I no longer feel like blogging anymore. It’ll onli be making this whole post longer and adding to the misery of my dear readers out there. Actually I spent the whole morning trying to figure out how the “WAN” works, hahahs no I dun mean candice. (although she did came across my mind when I plugged and unplugged the WAN countless times in that couple of hours.) Wireless area network. Tatas…