25th feb 2004,

i cant believe it, the two girls are using my tag board to talk to each other and totally make no address to me at all!! hahahas ...

candice brought up the thought on monday night, and i wasnt able to give her an answer on the spot. but since then, she, and becca, have both blogged abt it, and i think i shld as well. at lesat now i have a better idea. heh.. wat are the qualities or traits that i look for in a girl? Basically its very simple, she simply has to accept me for who i am and in fact, like that fact that i am ME. hahas ok this sounds kinda cliched, but then, when u stop and REMEMBER that i am so ivannish, it really takes alot for ppl to really accept me. from recent conversations with random ppl, i have come to realise that almost everyone hates/detests me at some point of time in our friendships. hahas... now, THATS saddening. hahas... honghui told me something like, "if i havent known u before i found out this side of you, i would have really hated you. thats why most ppl cannot accept it." Ah a sudden revelation. den i recalled what candice said abt how she once thought i was a weird person as well, but of cos thats no longer the case - i hope? den there's denise, who said she even tried running away from me before she got to know me cos i appeared to have a screw loose, but it was only during J1 endurance run (when i run with her out of kindness) that she changed her opinion of me. (how ironic.. she claimed she would have tried to run away, but that since it was endurance run she had no choice since she was already running and trying to keep a steady pace. hahas.. sometimes i realise i have quite a good luck with knowing friends.) and turned out we had abt 3 months of great fun together. today, denise is still someone i find fascinating - apart from her jacks and jazz. then there was becca toh, she said she once hated me, period. hahahas... from the few examples here, it shld be quite clear that its really not easy to accept me, much less like these personalities of mine. so i figured that any girl who could actually truly appreciate me as being ivannish would be fine. heh... of cos, as for the qualities that i look for, the girl must be simple. by that, i dun mean being simple-minded or anything, and no candice, i dun mind a partner that does better than myself, why shld i??? why shld ANYONE??? hahahs... by simple, i mean someone who puts herself plainly before u. nothing to hide, because a fakey friendship - much less relationship - is what i cannot accept at all. (why bother?!) someone who isnt afraid to let me know that she loves cartoons or weird music. (no denise! i wasnt referring to u! cos i STILL cant take jazz.. it makes my intestines tangled and my head grow to twice its orginal size until it becomes like a "vomit-balloon" waiting to explode anytime soon. ugh..) someone who still preserves that innocence in her, yet mature enough to know that she shldnt be dressing like sailor moon on the streets of orchard. (ie not the ah lians and ah huays!!) someone who i want to find out more abt each time we're together, yet not intimidated by her complexities. hahahs most importantly!! cannt "luan4 fa1 pi2 qi4".. hahas throw in a sweet smile, and thats basically it. the rest are really not that important, afterall i would like to discover someone really interesting instead of having a standard prototype already formulated in my head and spend all my life looking for the someone whom i've made up. its jus too silly a thing to do. hahas and i'm listening to jay chou now, suddenly reminds me of something, "jian dan ai". thats so important (pronounced "an-por-taunt" in french). Love doesnt always have to be complicated by issues and difficulties to make it sweet.

ok candice? is that enough? hahas... at least mine's more detailed than becca's one-liner. hahas... oh last point, cannot be a possessive-obsessive freako!! hahaha i talked to u abt this before, so i'm jus reminding u. hahahs...

did u realise that in telling the world what we would like to "buy", we're actually trying to "sell" ourselves? i did.

oh hey candice? i'm sorry abt monday night ok? we'll talk abt this. soon. i have so much to tell u.

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ugh french is ending really soon. i cant take it. and i still cant spew french essays yet! hahas... but oh wells, the 189 bucks we paid for has certainly been worth it. lets see, wat i've gotten so far besides the few words of french that i can utter. for 189 bucks, i got to really know becca, and thats only half the story, i'm also getting to spend more time with dearest candice. for 189 bucks, me and candice got one night -maybe more to come- chalet stay at becca's.. and her sister is part of the holiday package. for 189 bucks, we made nice friends like shirlyn and bertrand-the-absolute-muse. (readers, i tell u shirlyn is really quite the nice girl who aspires to be a deejay on FM 88.47 hosting late night programmes. and bertrand? bertrand has the amazing capability to make ppl laugh without even trying to be funny! and his name! its virtually impossible! but he's one of the nicest instructors i've ever known.) for 189 bucks we get to rekindle the feeling of studying in a classroom and being the attentive student all over again - of course, it comes with a complimentary copy of "LEARNING FRENCH!! - BY YMCA" which SO reminds me of our econs notes during SA days. binded notes with blanks for us to fill in, left side of the notes being left blank for writing -or doodling- on and the decorated front cover (mine writes... "model student ivan foo.. slap him! he's french! (not really) " and its not written by myself! hahas... its by -erm- some naughty girl. hahahahas) for 189 bucks, we get to remember -and rediscover- the fun of studying that we all seemed to have forgotten since we got into the secondary school? (do u still remember WANTING to go to school during ur primary school days because "the teacher is going to tell the story of the Christmas Knoll today" and u jus HAD to be there?) come on admit it, sec school and JC had been a chore, and who would say that they truly enjoyed the lectures and tutorials had it not been for maybe the fun teachers or company of classmates. for 189 bucks, i found much more, much more. and of cos! after the 9th week, i'm STILL gonna be able to speak french. wahahahs... thats the ultimate aim aye?

ok i needa leave now, i still have to go to suntec today. and i think i hurt someone last night. apparently she's still rather affected. so sorry yea? but i noe she's not the petty nut like myself. heh...