inspire truth.

Shit. It wasn't until recently that it hit upon me. "ivan? you have an awfully complicated life." I do things that i don't know i do. i don't do things that i think i am. i don't know what i know, and i know i don't know half the things i think i know.

The level of complication is..... disturbing when i try to tidy up my life. i find too many things that are too good to throw away, but yet i have no space for them in my life. i try hard to SQUEEZE everything into a small small space, new stuff, old stuff... everything. then some of them get damaged in the process. and i go "shit shit shit.. i better not squeeze anymore lest i spoil everything" that's when i have to remove certain elements, and thats when it is the most painful. haha... whoever has never shifted house before, you're never going to understand what i mean.

i feel evil when i do so, but yet.... i know it is the inevitable. rebecca says i walk into people's life. omi says i "pick and choose" my friends. but yet, for each one that i enter, there will be an exit someday, (even in death). Personally, i believe its more important for us to love today, love the people of today, because by harvesting each "today", we get the most out of our 70 years of life. we are but a speck in eternity. O what little difference does 0.000000000001 and 0.0000000000001 make?

fact: 10 times.
truth: nothing.

forget about promises of eternity, which we are incapable of. just know that for today, today i love you, with everything.